If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
