I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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