I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
