i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
