You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
