You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
