you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
