There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
