CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
