A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
