morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
