Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
