Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Randomize
