Just cropdusted the office
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize