think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
