I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize