Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
