you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
