How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
