you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
