we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
