I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
