You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
