I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
