He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
