Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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