omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
