There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
