the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
