I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
