why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
