I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize