she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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