No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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