Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
