I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize