I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
