i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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