How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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