Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
