My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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