thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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