I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
