I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize