Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
