Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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