Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
