Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The Olympian is in my bed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
