They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
