I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
