Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
