he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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