What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
