What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize