It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize