my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
