Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
