I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
