I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
