good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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